Thursday, February 21, 2008

Poor Timing, Dog...





Well, I have to admit this is a classic example of Skiver timing.

At the exact moment I choose to publicly express the most inappropriate joke I ever told (in the Presidents' Day blog post) the April 2008 issue of Popular Woodworking comes out with the Out of The Woodwork feature that could arguably be the most sensitive thing I have ever written.

I can only imagine a teary-eyed dog lover reading "My New Apprentice" followed by searching out this blog whose URL is given in the mini-bio of me at the end of the article. What does he find in follow up to the touching dog story???? Flippant remarks about dead Kennedys. That is the roller coaster of emotions that one receives as a result of any encounter with my life.

I will have something to say about Simon (and maybe Peyton) within a couple of days (or weeks). It has been difficult to ignore them these past 3 1/2 months as I waited for this article to get published. However, I think once I finally see the April issue on the shelf at Barnes & Noble's I will feel enough at ease to mention the pups without fear of PopWood Managing Editor Megan Fitzpatrick emailing me to say that I had violated the contract for First Rights to Publish that went with that story.

Please make a note...The King of Inappropriate Humor is also the biggest dog lover on Earth. Pedigree Dog Food summed up my 38 years of sharing this planet with God's palindromic namesakes which I can personalize as:

I'm For Dogs!


If you missed those Pedigree ads a couple of years ago, you can catch one here:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJNY64cQeuo

7 comments:

Ron said...

Dogs can be great. Some days you don't really know this as they can drive you crazy too.

One of my favorite pastimes is bonding with the puppies at PetSmart where HALO is selling the little guys they get from the pound. Drives my wife nuts as I say "We could do four dogs! Really!". I'm only half kidding of course.

Today there was an especially cute little guy. sigh

Vic said...

We have three dogs (all rescues).
They are our kids and when I read them your dead Kennedy's joke, they all laughed. Well, except Bisket, she's an old prude, but we love her.

Jeff Skiver said...

Both of our "original" dogs (Abby and Simon) were rescue dogs, and the only lament was that we had no puppy pictures. Gail and I would sit around looking at the lazy yellow things taking up most of the couches, and I would say, "It's a shame we don't have any puppy pictures of these two because I am sure they were gorgeous."

Then, for "my new apprentice" we chose to get a puppy so I could train him to be an exact replacement of my shop rat Simon. Like a parent who doesn't really get it (late night feedings, diapers, puke, etc) until he has a baby of his own...I discovered that along with all of the cute puppy pictures one also gets house breaking, heirloom chewing, and being mouthed by the sharpest little needle teeth in the world.

Rescue dogs...no portfolio of a glamorous puppihood...just "show me the door when I need to go outside, and I'm cool." Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Jeff Skiver said...

Vic,

I cackled at your comment (that's my level two laugh).

Bisket sounds a lot like our haughty, self absorbed Abby. Although I accuse Abby of having "cat mentality," Gail says Abby's aloofness helps to keep us Grounded.

Whatever....how about some exuberant love in exchange for the food and the nice leather collar we've given you the past nine years, Abby...

Anonymous said...

Dammit Skiver...You're not even allowed to _mention_ the article before it's published. You're fired (but not until after I get your Teller's article).
fitz

Jeff Skiver said...

Megan, I am working on the "Teller's" (sic) article, but I owe ShopNotes a 3 pager on how to build a Highboy from 2 sheets of Baltic Birch Plywood. And 1 1/2 sheets are just for the jigs. ShopNotes just LOVES those baltic birch jigs....

Also, I have been having to do double therapy for the last week since I found out that some people "hate metaphor." It's made me sad, like a droopy eyed basset hound. I'm so low I could sit on the edge of a dime and my feet still wouldn't touch the ground. I'm like a germ-o-phobe in a room full of runny-nosed compulsive huggers. I've been as sad as a little boy whose Mama just sold his puppy to buy Meth... just to learn that some MF people hate metaphor...

Jeff Tawney said...

Jeff was really delighted with the article in Popwood about your new apprentice, it was os timely as i just got my foirst apprentice... My wife thought I was nuts as to why I "needed" a dog to keep me company, but I got her anyway.. Meesha..20 month yellow lab and she is really great. I get the heavy sighs, loves to lay next to the table saw or under my feet, and watch me sand, etc. only scared of the air blower and that is probably because I sprayed her down... Every once in a whle she will have an accident but there is always sawdust around for the cleanup..
I was looking for a yellow lab 2yrs or so out of the puppy stage as I do not have the patience to train. I bought her from a hunting trainer so she would be use to loud noises and not freek out.... I am a full time woodworker (making mantels, deco shelving, and entertainemnt centers). Meesha goes EVERYWHERE with me (except church) which if I could figure out a way... Customer's love her and she gives me the breaks I need from constant focus... Just wanted to let you know you writing was an affirmation to me that I was not "nuts"... and my heart goes out over the loss of Simon.... It is hard to replace them....