For 2008, I am committing to the following resolutions:
1) This is the year I get off H
2) Stop slapping Gail for little stuff. Just emotionally abuse her for day to day issues. Save the whoopings for big stuff.
3) Finally do the right thing and register so my neighbors can be watching out for me.
4) Take up competitive knitting
5) Become more dedicated to my gambling. This is the year I'm due to finally win big
6) If I can’t stop cheating on Gail…at least stop hitting on the young stuff.
7) Learn some Arabic profanity
8) Do aerobics every day
9) Completely eliminate all vegetables from my diet
10) Stop being a slave to political correctness