Saturday, April 4, 2009

You Gettin' This, Camera Guy?!?!?!?

I need a haircut. It's about a week overdue to get chopped back.

I really like my hair. I am very happy it has decided to stick around as long as it has. I recently had to make a decision about my future with regard to the onesy-twosy strands of silver that are appearing at the temples. The shift to gray hair is not quite as bad as that seen during the first 100 days of those poor schmucks elected President of the USA, but the last few months have seen an increase in my silver. I plucked the first 20 or so that showed up, but I finally realized that after the age of 25, guys really shouldn't pluck perfectly good hair from the head.

So I am accepting the biologically-forced integration of my hair and allowing the silver ones to peacefully reside alongside the sorrel'ish ones.

Given how much I care about my hair, it's not like me to miss a haircut? However,I needed my top follicles long enough to put it into a nasty, spiky doo.

Regular readers know what Skiving Off is about: Dogs, cars, and Music...with a dash of woodworking that focuses on collecting tools and visiting Marc Adams School of Woodworking.

This year's primary goal is to make the 2010 Lie-Nielsen Calendar. I told Tom a couple of years ago that I want to be one of the pair of hands in his annual calendar. I believe his dead pan response was, "Ya do, huh????" And then he just took the check I handed him and said with genuine enthusiasm, "Thanks. This order will be entered and shipped as soon as I return to Maine."

I decided to boost my case for making the calendar. Therefore, I recently enlisted the help of a "LIfe Coach." I couldn't afford any of the best life coach candidates on my list, so I ultimately settled for Vince (the Sham Wow guy).

In a very short time, Vince has changed my life. He has me dressing differently, talking louder, using bigger gestures, and generally grabbing life by the tail.

So, the video below is just the first step of my public quest to get included the Lie-Nielsen calendar. Let's see how it works out.




11 comments:

GES695 said...

I just don't know where you come up up with your material.

I guess I will make a request, or better yet, demand a DNA test for you and me.

I love you no matter what the results would show, but Mr. May would be estatic if he were still alive.

Keep up the good work (?). You never cease to amaze me with what is coming next from your fickle brain.

Pops

Andy said...

Thanks Jeff! That's without a doubt the best Lie-Nielsen infomercial I've ever seen. I'd even go so far as to say it's the best woodworking hand tool infomercial I've ever seen!
Keep up the good work (or at least the fantastic creativity), and thanks for the laughs!
Andy

Spencer Stricklin said...

God, you're an idiot. And God help us we love you for it!!!

Next time see if you can get some bikini clad girls in the background, or better yet, some of those yokels you always see that have bought the product.

Keep up the good work/laughs!

Anonymous said...

Damn Jeff, that's the best thing to come out of that twisted mind of yours in a long, long time.

Dan

Rob said...

THAT was hilarious! Like everyone, I can ALWAYS use a good laugh. So thanks!

Rob Porcaro

Randy said...

Jeff
It is to bad that your buddy left you standing on the comedy stage all by yourself. I think posibly, you should have been the one that went on to the big stage in a sparkly city,, you have a knack that makes people laugh. And in todays world, we need all the laughs we can muster up.
I gotta tell ya though, I really miss you coming out in the Lab and thowing down some scripture,, I would love to see a "Preach'en Da Gospel" vidio from ya.
Great Vidio though, you do know how to have fun,,,
Later Dude!!!

Randy said...

Oh Yeah,, "The Calendar"!!
I am pretty sure,, this will get you noticed. I just cannot amagine Lie Nielson not taking notice of ya,,
As I was wathing the clip, I actually forgot what your mission was,,,
I think you have a bright future in movie production

bubba squirrel said...

WHERE's the Blog?????

Edward said...

I always dreamed of being featured in the Rigid pipe tools calendar. However, I don't feel comfortable wearing a bikini when using the pipe Rigid 535 Cutter/ Reamer/ Threading Machine.

D-bag said...

my eyes are watering. You're a genius! More videos, more videos...

Peter @ Router Table Pro said...

Thanks Jeff...It was really great to enjoy this video..Much thanks for such laughter :-)