Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Don't Sign Anything Without Reviewing It With Your Attorney

I am sure this is some kind of crime, and I know I shouldn’t admit to it. However, it is such a classic Skiver moment, that it seems like a good way to close out the year, here on the blog.

Last Saturday, we looked at 13 different houses in our attempt to finally move out of my parents’ house here in Indianapolis. (Luckily we have an empty house in Michigan, so we are not missing out on the thrill of sending in a mortgage check each month… we just long to send in two mortgage checks per month.)

Anyway, one of the first houses we visited on Saturday appeared to be owned by someone with similar interests to me. I first noticed the artwork in the entryway that highlighted famous spots in Dublin. When I went to the garage, I found he was a Formula 1 fan, but it looks like he is a Ferrari fan as compared to my McLaren/Mercedes loyalty. Also, in the garage I saw a radial arm saw and a table saw.

From there the story gets Skiver’ish. On the way to visit this house, Gail and I were talking dogs with our realtor. We told her about seeing Marley and Me on Christmas and then I quickly told her about Peyton and Simon, before arriving at this Ireland/Ferrari/Woodworking home.

Minutes later, in the closet of one of the upstairs bedrooms, I looked down and saw a scattered pile of woodworking magazines. I wasn’t too shocked, since my trip to the garage had shown me he was a woodworker. What I found intriguing was a particular issue of Popular Woodworking that I immediately recognized.

I called for my realtor who came in from the other room, and I flipped the April 2008 issue of PopWood open to the back page. Then, I showed off the photos of the two dogs I had been talking about in the car just 10 minutes earlier.

To fully Skiver-ize this event, there was one last thing I did. When Gail and the realtor left me and the magazines to continue looking at the rest of the house, I whipped out my official Mobil 1 Carbon Fiber Formula 1 pen, and decided to autograph the story of My New Apprentice.

In the words of Al Parrish, "This shot is a little soft..."

(That's how he describes EVERY photo I shoot.)

Then, I stuck the magazine back in the stack and continued searching for houses.

Although it would make a great story to say that house was the home of our dreams, the reality is that a different house was the one that struck a chord.

Did I mention that the home we have ultimately put an offer on has 1800 square feet of basement to serve as my new wood shop? It has 1800 square feet of unfinished basement with a 9 foot high ceiling. That is a little bit larger than the 325 square foot space I had in the basement in Michigan.

Hopefully it isn’t a crime to have autographed my article without permission. If you currently have a home for sale in Carmel, Indiana and you find that a stranger has “defaced” one of your issues of Popular Woodworking, perhaps you could sue me. The odds are you could win in court and be awarded a cute little house in Holland, Michigan with a 13’ x 25’ woodshop in the basement.


Ethan said...

That's awesome...

Maybe some day I'll be able to do something similar, Jeff (much to my wife's chagrin, I'm sure).

Speaking of... how ever does one condense their life into "one or two paragraphs"? Megan wants me to write something and send in a half-body shot for whenever they publish the article in PWM.

Summing myself up in a paragraph is harder than editing one of my blog entries down to 600 words or less!

I sent her a picture of me in my kilt, but she said, while she does appreciate kilts, she'd prefer the top half of the body for the magazine photo. Ah, well. Worth a try.

Oh, btw... interested in helping me organize my latest blog idea?

Ethan said...

Oh, btw... my wife reminded me that I haven't signed someone's copy of PW yet, but I have asked them if their woodworking equipment (it was a huge 12" disc sander from an old high school shop, if memory serves me correctly) was for sale.

He replied that it would stay with the house if we were to buy it.

It would have been an expensive disc sander, but possibly worth it.

Jeff Skiver said...

Ahhh, the joys of kilted woodworking.

(Assuming that is the idea you refer to as your latest blog entry, Ethan...)

I have various photos that show me in my bath robe in my basement shop, but I don't currently own a kilt.

I saw one at a shop in Dublin that I liked, but back in June the exchange rate was close to the record (1.6 to 1...) so I couldn't justify $350 for a man skirt, regardless of the freedom it offers...especially knowing I could always pop into Lane Bryant and get something similar but at a better price.

Nevertheless, I have often felt like the maple mallet shouldn't be the only thing swingin' in the shop, causing me to again believe there is a place in American woodworking for the kilted galoot.

However, Ethan, I believe that given all of the stress I currently have with trying to acquire and settle into a new house, I won't have time to help with your vision of a great kilted conference. Of course, in the words of the Kevin Costner film, "If you build it... I will come." (Just don't make fun of my BryLane Tartan.)