Thursday, August 28, 2008

Update on The Chisel

Good News….Bad News….

Why must it always be so damn difficult????

I think I found my chisel. A comment this morning by faithful reader Ethan put me onto the possibility that my missing chisel has something to do with Bad Karma over the differing opinions of John and me regarding drawer sides or possibly Bad Karma over my differing plans for the use of lumber. Either way I think the drawer side controversy is perhaps why she went missing. So following this revelation, I just needed to figure out how to get her back.

Somehow today I was able to find a different John…John Smith. More specifically, I found Col. John "Hannibal" Smith. Also, I not only found him, but I was able to successfully hire The A-Team to find my chisel.

The good news is they found it.

The bad news is that she is currently located in The Worst Toilet in Scotland.

So if I can now locate Ewan McGregor and get some Trainspotting instruction on how to make it through the trap of the toilet and swim down to where the chisel resides…everything should work out just fine.

(Note to self: it’s always interesting how some of my favorite blog posts garner NO feedback… so I am not sure if anyone will understand this one…and if they do…if there will be anything to add.)


Ethan said...

I don't think you can generate bad karma just for disagreeing with someone else. I was soley referring to the issue with your contradictory views between print and blog coming out on the same day.

I might be mistaken here, but I believe you're going to have to do something unbelievably GOOD in order to turn your karma around and find your skew chisel.

Something like, oh, I don't know... send a faithful blog reader an 1/8" Ward pig-sticker mortise chisel or maybe a old Krenov plane you have laying about.

Might be a little much, but you never can have too much good karma!

Plus, you totally don't want to have to worry about .22 caliber semi-auto rifle fire pelting the dirt, barely missing your feet, for the rest of your life!

Jeff Skiver said...


My Mortise chisels are Ray Iles Pig Stickers, so I don't have any Ward versions to send you. Also, I have tended more toward metal planes as opposed to having Jimmy K make me any wooden ones.

When I first contacted Hannibal I had forgotten all about the worry of having countless bullets hitting the ground at my feet during my time with The A-Team, but even with that risk it was worth it just to get to do one smokey burn out in the van with BA.

As far as the chisel goes, I rewatched the scene from Trainspotting this afternoon just to see how bad it would be to have to dive down that toilet in Scotland to get my chisel back... wow... that is going to be a toughy.

Finally, Ethan, I think I have discovered the key difference between the inaccurate rifle fire of The A-Team with Ewan McGregor's quite accurate shooting of the dog in Trainspotting. Perhaps it's because no one on The A-Team ever channeled Sean Connery as James Bond at the moment they were squeezing triggers. "Clear enough, Miss Moneypenny. This should present no significant problems."

Then again no one on The A-Team ever shot smack either. Perhaps Trainspotting and The A-Team just aren't that similar after all.

Anonymous said...

uh... right. That's the first place I would have checked. :/

Anonymous said...

Usually....when you find's the last place you look.

Jeff Skiver said...

Rest easy, my friends....the chisel has been found.

And guess was found in the last place I looked. Ya know... duh.... I found it..... why would I keep looking other places after I found it.

Anonymous, I do appreciate you pointing that out. Although you and I understand this blatantly obvious concept... many of our readers struggle with this intuitive bit of search and rescue knowledge.

Geemoney said...

Not to be too nitpicky, but wasn't it the blond guy that shot the dog, with Ewan McGregor just more or less along for the ride?

Good post. A Team and Trainspotting. If you can work in Airwolf sometime, too, I'll call it the trifecta.

Jeff Skiver said...

Although it was Sick Boy (the blonde Jonny Lee Miller) who was originally sighting through the scope of the rifle while Mark Renton (Ewen McGregor) was sighting targets with binoculars... Sick Boy handed over the rifle to "Rents" for the shot on the dog. This led to another great line from Trainspotting, "For a vegetarian, Rents, you're a *&&^%$in' EVIL shot!"

It was this movie that changed my life. Fear of becoming a dog hater got me off of Tofu and back on steak. (And chops and ribs and burgers and roasts.) So even though I single handedly support the American Beef Industry (and the Irish Beef Industry during the first half of June this year) at least I've never shot a dog with a pellet gun.

Anonymous said...

I thought this movie changed your life because it showed you the dangers of long term herion addiction. It's a good thing you came clean before the drug test for your new job. Also, I do remember one of your new year resolutions was to quit H. I think you would get a giggle out of rereading those resolutions. You only have a couple of months to follow through with some of them.